At a loss

grieving mom says she’s been excluded from planning of son’s funeral

A private, yet highly disturbing family feud is now being played in the open as the mother of late police constable Wallace Hayden Odain Greenidge of Four Hill, Indian Ground, St Peter goes public with her dismay at being left out of the planning for her son’s funeral.

Beulah Greenidge has left little doubt about how she feels about Wallace’s widow, whom she claimed had been estranged from her husband for the last three years, yet has returned as “the loving wife” now that her son is dead.

Wallace and his friend Kenmore Mayers disappeared while fishing near Animal Flower Cave in Connell Town, St Lucy on the evening of Friday, November 10.

The body of the 38 year-old police officer was retrieved from the waters on Sunday, November 12, but Mayers’ body has yet been found.

The late Wallace Greenidge

Beulah told Barbados TODAY it was painful losing her son so unexpectedly, the second of her six children to have died tragically.

However, she said it was equally painful that his estranged wife would simply return to take charge of everything on which she had turned her back.

“I am now mourning the loss of two children – my daughter died 24 years ago in a tragic accident and it took me seven years to get over it. Nobody knows the pain of a mother. It is not easy studying that I bring a child into this world and a total stranger walks in, takes over and then walks out of his life for three years, only to return when he is dead and cannot speak or defend himself. It is upsetting” she said.

Mother Beulah Greenidge wants nothing more than to be involved in the planning of her son’s funeral.

While Wallace’s widow declined to comment on the accusations made against her by her mother-in-law, Beulah went into graphic details of the marital problems between her son and her daughter-in-law.

Barbados TODAY has opted not to publish those details, except that the grieving mum stressed over and over that the two had been separated for three years and they both were contemplating divorce.

The conflict was palpable within Beulah over the sudden loss of her son, her alleged exclusion for the funeral arrangements and the schism in the relationship with her daughter-in-law.

She also spoke of the difficulty she has had sleeping at nights since the day Wallace disappeared, made worse, she said, by what transpired on the day his body was found.

“The Sunday evening when they found my son, I had just get in from church and they called me and told me that my son was found and the coast guard had him. Myself and my two daughters went down there and when we got there she was already there and I went to her and I said, ‘Shavonne, I am here to see my son’ and she said, ‘Oh, he’s gone, he’s gone’ and so I had to go find out where they took my son and then go to Two Sons [Funeral Home] to see my son.

“When my daughters tried to talk to her to find out information she blocked them. From the time the incident occurred she has given me the cold shoulder,” Beulah cried, as she held up the birth certificate and picture of Wallace, all she had remaining of the son she often lifted up in prayer.

62 Responses to At a loss

  1. Kim Gaskin
    Kim Gaskin November 23, 2017 at 11:38 pm

    Only today i was wonder n… wen Bulah gine come n d papers… lol

    Reply
  2. Epaphras D. Williams
    Epaphras D. Williams November 24, 2017 at 4:00 am

    This is a total disgrace, not even half fit for village chatter but Barbados Today has descended into dark private pit of family matters and came out gleaming with this gossip?

    Reply
    • hcalndre November 24, 2017 at 4:51 am

      @ E D Williams; What is you`ll problem with newspapers and the media, are you still living in the stone age? the deceased man`s mother had her story to tell and she spoke to BT.

      Reply
      • Rechelle November 24, 2017 at 7:29 am

        Agree.

        Reply
        • milli watt November 24, 2017 at 9:58 am

          I also concur…….sorry to hear about the loss mom as for the estranged wife stupse SHAMEFUL

          Reply
  3. Susan Maynard
    Susan Maynard November 24, 2017 at 4:26 am

    some person can help me .is this man married because if he is the wife got all the say and not the mother .It is up the the Daughter-in- law t to let his mom help.

    Reply
    • Carson C Cadogan November 24, 2017 at 6:28 am

      Did his wife bring him into this World???

      Reply
  4. Sheron Inniss November 24, 2017 at 6:29 am

    Mother fret not. THE I AM does not sleep. If what you say is true everything will work out. She looking to see what she can get now; nothing new.

    I wouldn’t last her longer than a snow cone.

    Reply
  5. Nanci November 24, 2017 at 7:04 am

    That happens all the time with wife and husband, soon as one die, the living one come forward to plan the funeral, and then take over. If they were not divorce then she is looking to get any money he left in the bank, and survivor’s pension. This also happens with kids. They don’t take care of the parents, but when the parents die the same distant kids, come forward like lightning, to take control of house, land and any monies left in the bank. The laws want changing. If she was separated, she should have to share assests with his family.

    Reply
  6. Greengiant November 24, 2017 at 7:25 am

    These are family issues and men need to handle their business properly. His wife has rights to his body, his pensions, his property and everything that he owns unless he had made legal exemptions during their separation period.

    Even the bible we use so often to justify our actions is clear on this. “A man shall leave his mother, him and his wife shall become one”. Call his wife whatever you wish on moral grounds, but morals and legals are eons apart. What can the wife do with the body? The soul is gone to where it belongs. These christians needs spiritual guidance. Where is the pastors during these times? Or are they caught up emotionally too? May he rest in peace.

    Don’t criticize Barbados Today for reporting, that’s they work. Criticize them for not fully reporting on the White Hill fiasco yesterday.

    Reply
  7. gsmiley November 24, 2017 at 7:52 am

    She is still his wife and she has all rights to plan her husbands funeral. wives come before mothers.

    That’s just the truth. Nothing to do with whether she brought him into this world or not cadogan.

    Reply
  8. Harry November 24, 2017 at 8:25 am

    and this National news because?

    Reply
  9. luther thorne November 24, 2017 at 8:31 am

    The wife though.
    Why are modern day Barbadian women so cantankerous ? Seemingly unloving always vex and looking for WAR ??? The Service Industries Schools and Families are suffering from the crass uncouth rancourous behaviour

    Reply
  10. Aileen Smith
    Aileen Smith November 24, 2017 at 8:39 am

    What is the significance of this article…… she is the wife, full stop.

    Reply
    • Joy Waldron
      Joy Waldron November 24, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Wife … a good caring wife don’t leave for 3yrs and return when you dead … it’s better or worst not when dead and house money to collect

      Reply
    • Aileen Smith
      Aileen Smith November 24, 2017 at 2:29 pm

      She is the wife ……. period

      Reply
    • Milini Jordan
      Milini Jordan November 24, 2017 at 4:17 pm

      Ask what was the cause for she leaving. so because they were separated for 3 years its her fault?

      Reply
    • Joy Waldron
      Joy Waldron November 24, 2017 at 6:22 pm

      How would we know who’s fault it is … man dead … if i was her I would hold back seat cause all His friends gotta know them wasn’t together..
      If we had children together let family do what’s right but if i ain’t want you in life ain’t want you in death..
      Seem like she only want what he leave..
      Wife stay in good and bad … not when dead show up….

      Reply
  11. Julia Robinson
    Julia Robinson November 24, 2017 at 8:54 am

    She is the wife, has more rights than the mum.

    Reply
  12. Kearn Williams
    Kearn Williams November 24, 2017 at 9:19 am

    I know some mothers-in -law can be real SOBs but my heart breaks for this lady

    Reply
  13. milli watt November 24, 2017 at 10:03 am

    so glad the men on the BLOCK………..want to know if this crowd that talking bout who got all the rights will soon have all the rights to NOTHING when they marry the block crowd. A BAJAN WOMAN STUPSE. I marry out a Guyana and have never regretted it.

    Reply
  14. North poiint November 24, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Nothing has changed, most women are like that, they have nothing to do with you in life but at death the are up front because she can now walk away with everything, I’m smh.

    Reply
  15. Pat Codrington
    Pat Codrington November 24, 2017 at 10:34 am

    I am sad for this mother,she has a right to know what preparations are being made for her son’s burial. Maybe there is money to be gained that is why the wife is all involved.

    Reply
  16. SHARON November 24, 2017 at 10:39 am

    there are two sides to a story!!! first this mom should tell the public that she and her family never liked his wife even b4 they were married. she is his wife they could have been separated for 10 yrs she has all the say plus they have a child together whether she come back for money, land, house, pension, etc the law will contact her if the man wanted a divorce you only have to be separated for a year i understand this mother but she must understand the law, mom it is up to his wife to involve u in planning his funeral but you want to take over not help bc u think they were separated it is because you all didn’t like her she not gine involve you to me mom your at attempt at making his wife look bad didnt work for me you make yourself look bad bc i have more questions now we all up here looking to see if u n your family gine pelt she out of de house mom take this with u you only know what your son told u n lord knows he had his bad faults too which u seems to b forgetting but u want to make this woman take all the blame shame on u

    Reply
  17. Kamisha Moore
    Kamisha Moore November 24, 2017 at 11:52 am

    So because she is the wife does it give her the right to exclude the mother. Legally yes but morally no

    Reply
  18. Bernard Mccollin
    Bernard Mccollin November 24, 2017 at 12:42 pm

    Man can have an abundance of WIVES but only one mother , his KNIFE not WOFE is totally disrespectful, the day using that paper u make a will so u can avoid problems like This. INSURANCE MONEY

    Reply
  19. Ossie Moore November 24, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    Sweet woman is always de best to hahh! Dem don’t bring dem kind o’ things fuh mek yuh disgrace.

    Reply
  20. Linda Mayers McClean
    Linda Mayers McClean November 24, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    Two sides to every story. We are always quick to judge

    Reply
  21. Jason Patel
    Jason Patel November 24, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    Life insurance must be in the do so of course the woman will show up

    Reply
  22. Sue Donym November 24, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    When BT said it refused to publish certain details, little did I expect to see some of what appears as commentary. Some of these posts are lacking in relevance, coherence and good taste.
    I’m “at a loss” as to how some of these comments made it through.

    Reply
  23. Alicia Holder
    Alicia Holder November 24, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    Separated for three years, and she come back to be disrespectful.

    Reply
  24. Alicia Holder
    Alicia Holder November 24, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    Where was she for three years. Why she ain’t stay where she was. Now the man dead she appearing, for what? His benefits and probably for a house if he has any. She is a wicked woman. Wunna really feel she there to mourn. Stupse do. The mother has all rights to him, and she can bury her son.

    Reply
    • Milini Jordan
      Milini Jordan November 24, 2017 at 4:11 pm

      Ask the mother why the wife was separated from her son don’t only listen to one side of the story

      Reply
    • Alicia Holder
      Alicia Holder November 24, 2017 at 4:20 pm

      I don’t care what the reason is. The point is the man is dead and the mother should be involve in her son’s funeral. Furthermore the whole family. Even if the separation was caused by his mother them is two big adults in a relationship that could have resolve it. That for one is out of the question for me. I blame either she or him for the separation.

      Reply
    • Alicia Holder
      Alicia Holder November 24, 2017 at 4:22 pm

      When two person really love each other you will do whatever it takes to be together.

      Reply
    • Milini Jordan
      Milini Jordan November 24, 2017 at 7:01 pm

      No one never stopped her from the time the police told her they have to release the body to the wife she said she wanted nothing to do with it she even went as far to say don’t even put her name in the paper so she could really hush she ass now

      Reply
  25. Smiles November 24, 2017 at 2:43 pm

    Well, Well, Well, it would do us good to read the law. she was married to the man, why cant both of them act with some sort of decency and join together for the funeral arrangements. And lest we forget when he joined the Force and took out an insurance policy, there probably was no wife, if his beneficiary was listed as his mother, believe it or not his wife will not share in that money. however, if it was listed as estate, then that goes with all his assets. Just let the man rest in peace, he was a little controversial not in a bad way. he spoke his mind, now let him rest and let dignity for the day prevail when the nation mourns a fallen comrade. Just for decency sake.

    Reply
  26. Mhizz Kelly P Forde
    Mhizz Kelly P Forde November 24, 2017 at 3:28 pm

    Dont believe everything you read in the news #enoughsaid

    Reply
  27. Gsmiley November 24, 2017 at 3:30 pm

    This mothst thing only happens in the w.i. men married and still have mummy before wife stupse

    Reply
  28. Gsmiley November 24, 2017 at 3:31 pm

    Nuh wonder some of them live at home til 63

    Jokets

    Reply
  29. Gsmiley November 24, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    Jokers*

    Reply
  30. Milini Jordan
    Milini Jordan November 24, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    Unless the divorce is final the wife still has all rights whether their separated or not

    Reply
  31. ejd November 24, 2017 at 4:33 pm

    The statuses are married, divorce and separated. Separated is not the same as married. They were separated not ‘married’. She has no conscience. Will she pretend to mourn her husband whom she had abandoned?

    Reply
  32. gsmiley November 24, 2017 at 4:44 pm

    EJD I don’t know if we read the same article or if it is that you just cant comprehend.

    I have taken the liberty of reposting the following for you to read slowly.

    Barbados TODAY has opted not to publish those details, except that the grieving mum stressed over and over that the two had been separated for three years and they both were contemplating divorce.

    So tell me that they weren’t ‘married’ according to you.

    Reply
  33. gsmiley November 24, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    oh btw you forgot single and widowed

    Reply
  34. Crystalene Alexander
    Crystalene Alexander November 24, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    Wife or wife not!!. It is not a issue of who have what say…the man ia dead and the mother should NEVER be left out of his funeral plans NEVER…..it dont matter how many sides the story got.

    Reply
  35. Mhizzjoan Moore
    Mhizzjoan Moore November 24, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    Wifey wicked,she Looking fa a pay day is all I can say

    Reply
  36. Antheia Springer-Williams
    Antheia Springer-Williams November 24, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    That’s how it is, you win some you lose some. In the eyes of the law she’s is still his wife.

    Reply
  37. Julia Robinson
    Julia Robinson November 24, 2017 at 6:33 pm

    Jack, seems like the mom and wife are not on good terms. She’s probably being vindictive.

    Reply
  38. Lucia Aniela
    Lucia Aniela November 24, 2017 at 6:39 pm

    Why would someone go to the paper with this? I don’t blame BT for publishing … let’s remember there are children of the deceased and this is not the way to solve this.

    Reply
  39. gsmiley November 24, 2017 at 7:19 pm

    Why would anyone with even the slightest modicum of decency and decorum want to go to a newspaper with this?

    There is only one reason.

    Look at the mother not the wife.

    Reply
  40. gsmiley November 24, 2017 at 7:20 pm

    This is really low class behavior.

    Reply
  41. Bevan Green November 25, 2017 at 10:22 am

    A man must leave mother and cling to wife. Too many bajan mothers does meddle in husband and wife businesd. Here you go again. Let Mada Greenidge burry her husband. Yuh meddling from then till now…..steupse

    Reply
  42. Esther Ward November 28, 2017 at 4:59 am

    No one looking deeper maybe they separated cuz he wasnt a good man to her and his family knew n maybe condoned it so eventhough he has past she doing what she is obligated to do as his wife n thats it.

    Reply
  43. Deborah layne November 28, 2017 at 8:03 am

    Before you judge the widow know the facts …a STORY has more than one side 。To the wife hold your head up HIGH and to the mother-in-law SHAME On your son ain’t even bury yet and you showing how evil you really are…

    Reply
  44. Derrick Frederick November 30, 2017 at 11:58 am

    Wallace, or Pastor G as he was known in the Calypso world was a good friend, a kind person, a Christian and a geniune smile as in shown in the pic is just how he was, very jovial and sincere. I pray that your legacy will be respected by all involved. God Bless you my friend!

    Reply
  45. Anthony Prescott November 30, 2017 at 3:01 pm

    Low-class behaviour SHOULD be expected. We as a people dont recognise our family since we were “trained” to hate each other and muddy all the boundaries that should be set for husband/wife, sister/brother…..it is a society that is EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF !! Taught and in-bred since slavery.

    How many of us can say we dont have one rivalry or another in our families…… yes TOO MANY people meddling in other people business, mind your own!!

    Each person has to make themself right in the eyes of the Creator, none of us have been given the RIGHT to judge another or meddle in other people’s business for WE all have sinned. What is the outcome that creates “peace”….so be it !!

    Reply

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