Bullied

Counsellor suggests reason for teen’s suicide

Details are beginning to emerge of some of the issues confronting 16-year-old Chante Natasha Yarde before she reportedly took her own life.

The teenager was discovered by her mother hanging from a rafter in their home at Mission Road, Brittons Hill, St Michael sometime after seven on Friday night.

It is believed she committed suicide. However police are continuing their investigations into her death.

Chante Yarde’s (inset) apparently took her own life at her Brittons Hill, St Michael home (seen here) last Friday.

Barbados TODAY visited the area several times between Friday night and Monday only to find that the house where she lived was shut and uninhabited. Monday the gap was virtually abandoned with no more than two elderly women and one man walking the road, with one of the women simply advising that no one was home.

However, posts on Yarde’s now seemingly deleted Facebook page told a tale of a teenager with a lot on her mind.

In a thread with a male said to be Yarde’s best friend, the teenager asked if “you realize a lot of people at school used to insult me for various reasons?”

When her friend attempted to reassure her by telling her it was because she was pretty, Yarde responded, “I don’t think I’m pretty”.

During the conversation she also indicated that she did not make friends at school.

Following Yarde’s death, the friend also posted an angry message on Facebook, accusing unnamed people of bullying the child which “drive her to this”.

The post and the thread have also been deleted.

Monday, counsellor Shawn Clarke told Barbados TODAY he had seen the teenager’s page and had sensed a cry for help that no one had taken seriously.

“I would have been privileged to have a look at the young lady’s Facebook page and what I saw there, I could tell that as far back as April or May 2016, this young lady would have been posting a number of things that would indicate that she was extremely depressed. She was crying out for help. A lot of images about being extremely low-keyed. I saw one asking ‘would I be missed if I died?’ Those kinds of things. So you can see this is a young lady who was depressed for a long time, and it’s sad that adults or those on her Facebook page never saw the need to look into to her posts and find out why she was making such posts and find out what is going on with her,” Clarke said.

The Chief Executive Officer of Supreme Counselling Services also felt the child had been a victim of bullying.

“It seems to have been an ongoing battle. A comment made by one of her friends, asking why she was always by herself and saying she never came out to play with them, this could indicate some level of bullying in terms of social isolation. Why a young girl who was into dancing or so never had that much friends? Why that young lady based on what I read, never went out in the community and socialized? It’s unfortunate.”   

Clarke said this was a lesson to adults and communities to be more vigilant to ensure they are aware of what is going on with the young people.

“We need to hear the unspoken word. Here’s a young lady who has been crying out for help but not really speaking it verbally, but sending messages loud and clear through her Facebook page. And these were message that everyone either overlooked or they went over everyone’s head. It is room for concern that our parents need to be more vigilant and our communities need to be vigilant with what is happening with our young people. Too many of our young people are depressed and you often hear parents say, ‘what he or she has to be depressed about? They’re sent to school, food is on the table, he gets what he or she wants’, but there’re so many things our young people are battling with nowadays,” the counsellor said.

Clarke also urged parents and guardians not to see counselling as something bad, and urged them to use the services of professionals to help young people who might be having a tough time.

“Counselling is not a bad word, and I find in Barbados and in the Caribbean, people shy away from counselling. As soon as they hear counsellor they seem to think there is something mentally wrong or there is some kind of mental deficiency with the child. That is not what it is at all. It is helping someone help themselves come up with solutions to solve their concerns or problems. They need to seek the professional help to help young people cope with everyday living,” he said.

In addition, Clarke said the society also needed to teach young people how to be
more assertive.

“We have to teach them to get up and talk. Come and tell us what is wrong with you. When young people know that they have that avenue, they can open up and they would talk. Find a trusted adult that you can talk to. ‘This is what is happening to me’ and so on, so that they can get the help they need.

“Our young people are going through a whole lot, and I’m not sure we as adults fully understand the magnitude of what our young people are going through,” Clarke added.

davandrababb@barbadostoday.bb

43 Responses to Bullied

  1. Dionne Trotman
    Dionne Trotman February 7, 2017 at 12:18 am

    Hmm

    Reply
  2. Marva Straughn
    Marva Straughn February 7, 2017 at 12:26 am

    Sad sad indèed

    Reply
  3. Connie Francis February 7, 2017 at 12:36 am

    Mr Clarke you can’t be serious..because a young lady does not have friends or spends time alone indicates that she was being bullied? There are several reasons why the child could have been depressed or preferred to be alone please check out ,facts/ socialisation before blaming everything on being bullied , we are all insulted at some time , how you deal with it or are taught to deal with it will indicate the outcome ,depression is sometimes caused by hormonal changes/imbalance ‘ poor self esteem or image ‘ parental neglect, Who told you no one looked into her post? Her peers are right now hurting ….because they tried to help. In some cases Spiritual and Professional intervention is needed …Stop making assumptions without knowing the facts.

    Reply
    • Nzuri February 7, 2017 at 6:32 am

      Excuse me just because she has peers that are mourning does bot mean that she didnt have a few or even one who was negatives impacting her. Yes it may be more but you cannot discount the impact of social isolation due to rejection or bullying. Has the word become cliche or are not enough children dying for yall to be convinced? Do youbthink she should have left a note. Coming from an almost casualty of the same who now teaches who still experience these same issues even in the work place.

      Reply
    • I hate bullied February 7, 2017 at 1:02 pm

      I can see you are a parent who would allow your kids to bully someone clearly. I hate bullys and if at anytime my kids were to be bullied and parents like you don’t do anything about it my leather belt gonna talk to you and your kids. Because clearly bullying a kid is ok

      Reply
    • Reality Storm February 7, 2017 at 10:48 pm

      Oh Connie… where do i start with you? First off, Mr. Clarke didn’t conclude as a fact that the child was bullied. He merely suggested from the evidence he gathered via her own postings… that bullying may have been a contributing factor. I am not sure if you passed through the educational system in Barbados, but teenagers can be very overbearing and unkind. I experienced it myself, and because everyone does not react this drastically to bullying, does not give anyone the right to come close to accepting this practice.
      Anyhow, next time Ms. Francis make sure you read the article carefully.

      Reply
  4. Shauna Griffth
    Shauna Griffth February 7, 2017 at 12:42 am

    This Is so sad

    Reply
  5. Diana Cave
    Diana Cave February 7, 2017 at 12:50 am

    O dear so sad . This bulling thing is very serious . I remember back the other boys that the same thing had happen to . And very often those children were very quiet as well . My condolences goes out to her entired family . May she rest in perfect peace .

    Reply
  6. Mhizzjoan Moore
    Mhizzjoan Moore February 7, 2017 at 1:06 am

    Being To easy on these bullies,start treating them like criminals, cause if any of them mess round my child or family members ,I will take matters in my own hands,screw the useless so call ppl in authority

    Reply
  7. hcalndre February 7, 2017 at 4:37 am

    I think that some bajans parents are so protective and what they call strick upbringing of their kids not wanting them to be with other neighborhood kids, only to school and church. Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. Reading that the teenager spent most of her in the house while the other kids have fun going to the beach and parties she probably became depressed and lonely.

    Reply
  8. Saundra February 7, 2017 at 5:04 am

    I am my brother’s keeper.

    Reply
  9. ch February 7, 2017 at 5:32 am

    We don’t know what really went on in that child’s mind and sometimes we’re too quick to assume that parents or anyone else would have made a difference to the outcome.
    Everyone has a different personality and will react differently to the internal and external stress of life. Don’t ever rush to judge or to blame.
    May she rest in peace.

    Reply
  10. Juney Leary February 7, 2017 at 5:36 am

    I am very sorry to hear of the death of this beautiful young lady .if she was being bullied ,it’s very sad .I have been bullied because I stood up for myself ,it was very hard ,got threatened and all but I told my friends what was being done to me ,and I am an adult with kids .I always check on my children and observe them ,talk to them to get a feel for what is going on in their lives . Some people bully kids to harm parents the list goes on . I believe that if the victims knows that they have people they can tell what is going and they won’t be bullied further ,they would open up .if you feel that you have no one to talk to then its too late .Bullies are tricky ,but you need to be strong and call them out ,otherwise they will drive you to your grave before you are ready .Encourage our young to speak up , the elderly get bullied too . Rest in peace young lady ,gone to soon .

    Reply
  11. Tricia Browne February 7, 2017 at 6:20 am

    I agree with you Connie Francis. Reading this story so much are coming out if this besides bullying. Are we trying to make the other students reading this article who would’ve say something negative to her at sometime feel guilty for her death?
    What about how she was socialize? What about low self esteem? What about family history? What about mental health issues?
    Why a heading saying Bullied?

    Reply
  12. Sherlock Holmes. February 7, 2017 at 6:43 am

    Mr Clarke so you are an expert now?We are well aware that there is bullying but what about demonic forces? Sometimes individuals are plagued by these forces when they delve into things that are of the demonic realm, whether intentionally or merely by accident.Some may visit sites on the internet or read materials that take hold of their minds.I am certainly not going to say that this is the case in this matter but the devil and his cohorts are real and most cases of suicide they are the chief culprits. He plays on the mind once self esteem and self worth has reached that point of erosion. Bullying is a problem but we must not be so quick to jump to conclusions by what one may read on a face book page we have too many so called experts who just jump on band wagons because of catch phrases and what seem to the popular prognosis. When a thorough investigation is done then and only then can a determination of the real facts be made, until then i would suggest we lay off of the supposition theories.

    Reply
  13. Interested Party February 7, 2017 at 6:47 am

    Why is this man speaking to the press. Is a Coroner’s Inquest not in the works while the police investigate this sad story? There is no “need to know” on the part of the public what can onlt be described as pure speculation and not evidence. May she rest in peace. She has gone to soon, a beautiful young lady. May she soar with the angels.

    Reply
  14. Ejd February 7, 2017 at 7:03 am

    Tells us what you did, Mr. Clarke? If I had seen these posts I would have reached out. Did you reach out to her?

    Reply
    • Samantha February 7, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      I believe he was talkng about viewing the page after her death but before it was deleted.

      Reply
    • Renz February 8, 2017 at 6:26 am

      Maybe you need to read and comprehend first before commenting. Obviously it was brought to his attention after she committed suicide.

      Reply
  15. Igrunt Barbie February 7, 2017 at 7:21 am

    Connie Francis… Much of what you said is hogwash.. While it can be argued that this information is speculatuve, thosewho have experienced it are aware it is very real. Also, the bit on depression is but partially correct as it is also driven by external factors which can rrsult in such changes. It is also documented that my female counterparts suffer from it alot more. Next thing, many bajan parents are absolutely clueless to what goes on. Alot has to do with how they were raised and a lack of knowledge. Next thing, many children very often lack empathy and bring what they learn at home into school from adults who deems certain behaviours as normal. So while in this case it may be a degree of conjecture, it is a very real problem in our schools.. so get a grip and drink some enlightened tea..

    Reply
  16. Dr. Anthony Cummins February 7, 2017 at 9:41 am

    First of all let me express my condolences to the family of this young teenager prayer that you be strong in this difficult but learning curve.

    While we may feel that this young lady committed suicide because limited insight may help us subscribe. I wont rule out foul play.

    We must look and dig deeper and not just settle for suicide. This is why people are comitting crimes and getting away easily. We leave sitiations alone too fast without digger to uncover more.

    We have to be smart enough to know that because postings were on here wall on fb does not mean it was she who posted thes messages. We live in a society that a lot is happening. Hackers and computer literate persons are becoming so good at forging and fixing stuff that one shoud be more quick to dig deeper. We have a complex society where the drug business is at an escalating high and terrorism is real. Do not be deceived. So we must exercise much more intelligence than we do right now. A word to the wise. Dr. Anthony Cummins is a Life Coach and Family Counsellor and Psychologist.

    Reply
  17. Helicopter(8P) February 7, 2017 at 11:02 am

    The family inside story is the answer to all stories. From infant to her last days with us class teachers and pediatrician as well could have answers!

    Reply
  18. Lisa February 7, 2017 at 12:31 pm

    Bullying in school is a very real thing and it does impact our children in a big way. Unless you went through it or have a child that went through it some of us should be quiet. My daughter was bullied from 1st to 3rd form and all she and I spoke with the authorities at the school it was still happening but every morning and evening I reminded her she is loved, she is smart, she is beautiful. I’m glad I have the relationship with my daughter for her to come talk with me about whatever she is feeling…..every child don’t have that. Schools need to take this bullying thing very serious as so does the authorities. Many of our children don’t have the same avenue as my daughter. I wish more parents would be more open and not dismiss what their children is saying to them as foolishness. A mother and family is now grieving. I will say because the children at her school is grieving or sad that does not make them her friends, that just the children she saw everyday, one. My heart goes out to her mother mostly and I feel for the best friend that was at her side through it all.
    May God guard their hearts and comfort them through this all.

    Reply
  19. Sherlock Holmes. February 7, 2017 at 1:14 pm

    As i said everyone has now become an expert,wonder if they are certified?

    Reply
  20. Maggie February 7, 2017 at 1:48 pm

    I have a teenage daughter who’s also suffering from the hands of the bullies at her school and when trying to address the matter with the school authority it’s deem as petty and not much is being done to Help the sufferer….so in return that child is then left to feel as though it’s her fault these things are happening…..there’s so much i can say but I’ll finish here. Condolence to the family

    Reply
  21. Tony Waterman February 7, 2017 at 2:07 pm

    “Monday, counsellor Shawn Clarke told Barbados TODAY he had seen the teenager’s page and had sensed a cry for help that

    (no one had taken seriously.)”

    “I would have been privileged to have a look at the young lady’s Facebook page and what I saw there, I could tell that as far back as April or May 2016, this young lady would have been posting a number of things that would indicate that she was extremely depressed. She was crying out for help. A lot of images about being extremely low-keyed. I saw one asking ‘would I be missed if I died?’

    Those kinds of things. So you can see this is a young lady who was depressed for a long time, and it’s sad that adults or those on her Facebook page never saw the need to look into to her posts and find out why she was making such posts and find out what is going on with her,” Clarke said. “”Neither did you SIR!!!

    The Chief Executive Officer of Supreme Counselling Services also felt the child had been a victim of bullying.

    Clarke said this was a lesson to adults and communities to be more vigilant to ensure they are aware of what is going on with the young people.

    “”You were Vigilant, you were aware, and YOU did Nothing.””

    “We have to teach them to get up and talk. Come and tell us what is wrong with you. When young people know that they have that avenue, they can open up and they would talk. Find a trusted adult that you can talk to. ‘This is what is happening to me’ and so on, so that they can get the help they need.

    And if Mohammed Can’t go to the Mountain, is it not Said the Mountain SHOULD go to Mohammed, and in this Case are you not the Mountain Mr.CEO, why did you NOT GO and at least RAISE A RED FLAG.??

    You SIR!!! are a TRUSTED ADULT,Presumably TRAINED in this area of expertise, who since by your own ADMISSION April or May 2016 saw this Young Lady’s Facebook Page, and Realised that there was something Wrong,and what did you Do??? Diddly Squat, so how about Getting off the Potty, now that the all you did see has arrived at this Destination ???

    OH Yes!!!! It is Her Fault that She in her Condition did NOt Find You in time, to make an Appointment and come sit and Chat with you.

    Mr,Clarkr!!!! You are Just another case of EDUCATION and POSITION, being more important than actually Doing anything, you could have taken less time than you took to Spew all this Garbage to “Barbados Today” and at least go warn this Young Lady’s Mother/Father about what you had Noticed from her Fb postings, Perhaps, Maybe, she Might still be with us Today, MAYBE/PERHAPS, Only God Knows.

    May she now Rest In Peace, and rise again someday with the Angels in Glory.

    Reply
    • Samantha February 7, 2017 at 6:44 pm

      I get the impression he saw the page after her death but before it was deleted. Once the page is up you can go back and view past posts. Your tirade is a little bit pointless if that’s the case.

      Reply
    • Jhay February 7, 2017 at 10:57 pm

      After reading these comments i am not sure that education is indeed free in Barbados. I have never met a people with so little comprehension and reasoning. Where do i change my nationality??… surely that’s easier than empowering you people with any understanding.

      Reply
  22. Camille February 7, 2017 at 2:23 pm

    Mr.Clarke every word you said is poor state!! u have no personal experience with the girl..u don’t know what her family tried and didn’t try, did and did not do..but are casting heart less aspirations in those in her life..this entire piece was an awful ambulance chasing advertisement…shame on all involved

    Reply
  23. Lord Help Our Children February 7, 2017 at 3:11 pm

    Is this the person the Ministry of Education Entrusting to DUPLICATE the work of the EDNA NICHOLS centre.

    Ministry why do you not upgrade the work of Edna Nichols Centre instead of duplicating the work with these type Counsellors..

    Reply
  24. Rose February 7, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    Mr. Clarke is quick to say, children/youth need to speak out, LOL, when they do it is classed as complaining and not taken seriously. I know from personal experience, as my child was bullied and no matter what she said it was taken as complaining. It was not until she could take no more of the verbal and physical abuse that she used her martial arts and suddenly she was said to be aggressive and the aggressor.

    Reply
  25. Just Sayin' February 7, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    @Ejd and @Tony Waterman…What I’m understanding is that Mr. Clarke was able to read the young lady’s posts following her untimely passing…and before the page was deleted. Not that he was reading her posts since 2016. But regardless, R.I.P. to her and condolences to her family.

    Reply
  26. Guy Smiley February 7, 2017 at 5:17 pm

    Nothing in Mr Clarke’s statement indicates that he saw the FB post prior to her death. I get the impression that he saw it after and before it was taken down but I could be wrong.

    If that is the case then the criticism levelled against him is unfounded.

    Reply
    • Samantha February 7, 2017 at 6:45 pm

      Guy Smiley…..Thank you!!!!! smh. That’s the impression I got as well

      Reply
  27. Guy Smiley February 7, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    I am of the view that it was brought to his attention after she committed suicide. Because he refers to April / May 2016 does not mean that he saw it then.

    Reply
  28. Sgriffith February 7, 2017 at 10:04 pm

    I don’t exactly know how she felt but i believed i have and idea.My son was beaten badly on his way to work 4 years ago and had to attend the mental for counselling and to this day no one was charge ,he point out one of his attackers but nothing happened.Everytime my son leave home to go out and the fellows see him they slap him in his face or trouble him when he on the zr.He would go to the police station and be ignored and one day it seem like my son gave up cause i got a call two days before my birthday to tell me my son was charge with a gun. When i got to the station i watch tears came down my eyes and my son said mom i can’t handle this no more so i need to protect myself there nearly killed me once it’s either me or them.

    Reply
  29. Margaret Ross-Salavarria February 7, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    Sincere condolences to her family, friends and loved ones. Safe travels to her and God’s speed. If you see something, say something. You can be saving a life. Gone too soon.

    Reply
  30. concern parent February 7, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    i am a mother of a 13 year old teenager here or late she started cutting her wrist at school kids started bullying her tekking her bout i have aids and she ugly and always feel sge is all of that say she intgot nothing she does look musty etc wanting to take her lunch money she is not comforeable going school but she does i was not aware of this until the guidance consueller made me the kids now wanna pick fights because she told someone

    Reply
  31. Jhay February 7, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    After reading these comments i am not sure that education is indeed free in Barbados. I have never met a people with so little comprehension and reasoning. Where do i change my nationality??… surely that’s easier than empowering you people with any understanding.

    Reply
    • allison archer February 10, 2017 at 6:03 pm

      people don’t take time to read and analyze carefully, at times I sit back and shake my head
      in order to capture all that is being told experts said you need to review at least 7 times
      please don’t change your nationality just have the patience to share the correct reasoning to be imparted in order for them to make a sound and logical opinion : )

      Reply
  32. yvette thornhill February 8, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Where is the caring and love for each of us, start teaching our children to be more kind,understanding ,compassionate. God created all of us in his own image,and when we as adults say unkind things and insult other people because they are different in looks ,sizes and may talk different, in front of the children. What do we expect. Let begin showing that love that God speaks about in his word(Bible) Bring back the word of God in the schools. Yes children hold a lot inside of even though, you might have the best relationship with them . Let learn from her untimely death and see what we can do to help others.

    Reply
    • jacintha February 8, 2017 at 11:17 am

      As someone that works with the youth, it always saddens me when I hear of painful instances like these. My question is, the person that she was corresponding with on Facebook, why didn’t they seek help for her? From 2016 until now and that person wasn’t aware that something was wrong? Nobody at all pick up that something was wrong? Seriously??? Why? How come her mother didn’t pick up on the change in her behavior? Why? Have we as parents become so caught up in providing food, clothing and shelter for our children that we forget about our children’s emotional, psychological and mental well-being. That is part of parenting to. Bullying affects you on every level. Our society and the world in general have come to the point where right is bad and wrong is good. Until we wake up as a society and more importantly as parents, we are going to keep losing our youth.

      Reply
  33. realitytime February 8, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    sad that no one could see how depressed she was and that she needed help another young life wasted all because there is no more love in this world anymore

    Reply

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