Our men need help, says Willoughby

The Director of the Criminal Justice Research and Planning Unit (CJRPU), Cheryl Willoughby, says based on statistics compiled by her unit, men are not only the main victims of violent crimes in Barbados, but the main perpetrators as well.

Addressing a conference today, she therefore cautioned that while men were often perceived as strong and independent leaders, they were in need of help.

Director of the Criminal Justice Research and Planning Unit Cheryl Willoughby.
Director of the Criminal Justice Research and Planning Unit Cheryl Willoughby.

“They are perceived to be leaders, they are perceived to be the ones who will instil guidance, but I also believe that we are to also recognize that men are the ones that may be requiring additional help,” she told the opening of a school session for the More than Victors Family Conference.

She told the gathering it was important to target young men at an early age, as children were already indoctrinated into certain patterns of behaviour by the time they reached the age of 13 or 14.

Willoughby warned that waiting until a child reached secondary school to start an intervention was too late, stressing that all efforts must be made to intervene earlier.

She noted that the CJRPU had already implemented several initiatives, such as the Dispute Resolution and Conflict Mediation and Boys to Men programmes, which dealt with behavioural problems in school, male sexuality and self-esteem building, among other areas.

However, she pointed out that a major challenge with some males was that they did not like to verbalize their issues, with many of them keeping their problems to themselves, unlike women who tended to be more expressive.

She added that men appeared to be “retreating in surrender”, with women now taking over at the helm of organizations such as the Boy Scouts.

“We need more males to come forward and mentor our young men so they can see positive role models among themselves,” the Director emphasized.

During the morning session, boys from nine secondary schools and the Government Industrial School listened as American teacher Mark Taylor shared his story of being a victim of sex trafficking from the age of 11.

Taylor advised the young boys that if they were in need of help, they should find someone and talk to them about what was happening.

He also urged teachers and parents to be on the look out for any noticeable changes in their children’s behaviour or in their school work.

Source: (BGIS)

6 Responses to Our men need help, says Willoughby

  1. jrsmith June 25, 2015 at 10:21 am

    Madame Director, the question, why is it the only ethnic group needs mentoring is the blacks. a young black bajan,19 years old, goes out, find a gun, buy a gun, somebody give him a gun, end product, bang bang, killing someone, where do we begin.

    You could preach and teach till the cows come home, but that persons character if lost, destroys the moral strength which takes them through their eventful lives.

    You can teach someone to fish, explaining what to catch and what not to, but that person goes fishing ,catching the wrong fish given varying reasons, all excuses not wanting to accept the wrong which has been done. you can only do so much.

    I have a friend of a friend , from a different island in the west indies. it came to past over a period of time, the father who is over 60 his 2 sons, 1 grandson and a grand daughter , and the nephew of the father to this lot, were all imprisoned in three different prisons in the UK.again where do you start.

    My take , try the best way u can to manoeuvre through life ,knowing yourself , helping others if you can, my dad always say to me, never argue with the doorman, because that door you may have to pass through many times again.

    Reply
  2. Veroniva Boyce
    Veroniva Boyce June 25, 2015 at 11:09 am

    You mean the head of the household is failing them daily!

    Reply
  3. Olutoye Walrond June 25, 2015 at 1:20 pm

    JR, Can I assume that the question with which you open your comment takes into account the fact that about 95% of the Barbadian population are “black”?

    Reply
  4. Patrick Blackman June 25, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    I grew up in the Bayland St. Michael, by the time I reached 18 years old most of the guys I grew up with were either dead or in prison. Like most bajans I grew up without a father around and I can say I turned of pretty well. (just my opinion). What got me to this stage was having a strong mother who instilled basic values in me everyday. Even though I was surround by criminals and no good guys I still kept on the straight and narrow because of those values not mentors or conflict resolution.

    The problem is about basic values, respect, honesty, kindness etc. If parents cannot bring this to the table then s..t happens. Try travelling on a school and you will understand what I am getting at.

    Reply
  5. Charles Worrell June 26, 2015 at 1:51 pm

    Hello peoples, please allow me to offer another view on this very fundamental issue regarding the male man in Barbados. It would be amiss not to allude to the determination of the female man to improve and in many cases reverse the role of the sexes in our dear country. Laws were passed that were relevant in many cases but all too often, they reverse and not equalised the circumstance. Men were continually beaten on; called by every name other than that which GOD PRE-DESTINED (yes, for those of you who believe you can do it as you want it and ignore what the CREATOR set up) and as a response man, the male man, retreated. Later, he became quietly satisfied with his new role if it still gave him a leg up. All the while, the Women’s groups combined and organized and from a position of influence, got those in power to agree with them, and the laws kept coming.
    Some years ago, the then Principal at Erdiston College sound a clarion call. It intended to alert us that too few men were enrolling in advanced education and that the necessary balance was going away. This advise was ignored and the beatings exerted on the male man continued as the female male continued to make huge strides in every aspect of the society. It did not matter that children were left behind as long as the trappings of success showed up and in many cases they did.
    Year after year, the graduating class at Cave Hill showed this same pattern and I may have missed the commentary, but little was initiated to equalize this growing situation.
    Men then, found certain work more difficult to come by and often were laid off first as many jobs still have a female preference. Their self esteem shreaded, they became menacing; first to themselves and later to those around them. They were spoken to in alternatives: ‘if you don’t, I will get it’ and of course the alternative won.
    Who were the real casualties here? OUR CHILDREN!! Even as we observed it, we found rationalization which spoke to why mother had to work.
    TODAY, two vicious issues confront us: the UNDER ACHIEVING FATHER AND THE LEFT ALONE CHILD. Both now on the far left of societal norms and expectations and we are now setting up departments to talk about what is already known.
    It should be noted too, that along this line came Children’s Rights legislation which effectively took away parental authority and made it easy for children to haul parents into court; it neutralized school houses where teachers USED to be able to assist with the rearing of children and it created a child with awesome power and little control. And so, here we are looking helpless and worried about the well being of our acquired material lives and showing no aptitude with regard to decisive action towards correction.
    Yes, to fix it, is first to understand it Ms. Willoughby. We need new or fresh eyes and a paradigm shift in Barbados. WE NEED TO TRUST OURSELVES AND OUR ABILITIES OR GO AND CHECK OUR HISTORY, THE SUCCESS IS THERE. GET YOUR EYES OFF AMERICA. MOST OF WHAT YOU TAKE FROM HER DOES NOT, DOES NOT, WORK THERE AND WILL NOT WORK HERE. NOTICE
    that those in certain positions now see only what preserve them
    as sensible but Barbados is about ALL OF OUR PEOPLE AND IT
    WILL BE RETURNED TO THAT STANDARD AGAIN.

    Reply
  6. Patrick Blackman June 26, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    @Charles Worrell – as usual, a joy to read.

    Reply

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