Two World Cup wrongs

by The Market Vendor Today


Yuh see me Market Vendor, I been keeping quiet for de first part of de FIFA World Cup in Brazil, because I didn’t want to open me mout too soon and let story jump out; but I ready now.

After all de s . . . . , (not shi’ite; dem doing s . . . . in Iraq; not bout here) dat CNN, BBC, FOX, ABC and de mainstream Western media was writing bout Brazil, saying how de country not gine be ready, how dem behind time and some stadia ain’t gine get finish in time fuh de World Cup, when we was expecting all sorts of calamities, somehow dis World Cup start pun time, the facilities finish, they look good, and de 2014 football World Cup is de greatest in living memory.

And I would expect de wufless brutes dat do everything to smear Brazil’s name to come out and say: “I was wrong; de people was ready and we is de ones dat wasn’t ready!”

De coverage is amazing. Everything wukking and de goals scoring morning noon and night, literally!

Tek a bow, Brazil. Wunnah not only one of de greatest football teams (Americans, read soccer, please) dat ever live, wunnah show dat wunnah can put on a show. All of a sudden de networks, and BBC too, gone quiet pun whether Brazil was ready or not. De same shite happen in South Africa fours years ago; it look like if de games being held in a Third World country dem can never believe that de show gine go on!

And I see dat de Minister of Sports in Bubbadus say dat Bubbadus hoping to host a future World Cup. Now don’t get me wrong; I like Steve, but I not sure what he was drinking when he mek dat statement, and I not sure why Starcom Network News highlight it.

Iffing I was my good friend Stetson Babb, I might have given de minister a Hail Mary pass pun dat one. But cud dear, Brazil spent billions of dollars pun dat event. Where we gine get dat money from iffing we even get FIFA to listen to we? De NIS or by raising de national debt ceiling again?

Where we would put over 100,000 visitors, pun cruise ships like fuh we 2007 Cricket World Cup? Dis ain’t no cricket final, Steve!

I thought dem did misquote you, cause yuh know how wunnah politicians like to feel wunnah get misquote; but I hear yuh voice myself. So I have to believe either it was de mauby, or you real serious!

If yuh serious, maybe you mean host a qualifier FIFA World Cup match. Maybe, yes, but de World Cup? Mekking sport!

And while we pun de football, CBC holding blows again wid de public. Dem recording de matches in de evening and carrying Days Of Our Lives instead, following wid de propaganda news. Then after announcing the results of the match dat recorded, they then put on de match. Wunnah cannot be serious!

Sweet Lord, every time I thing wunnah cannot rake de barrel any lower, wunnah prove dat de barrel is bottomless.

Common sense would have said dis is de World Cup, dis is a football-crazy country like de rest of the world, even America these days. You know that DirecTV got it (did wunnah share de rights wid them, or dat is just rumour?) and DirecTV showing it live, HD signals, plenty channels devoted to it, you know dat DirecTV gine burst yuh [tail], but to compound de lashes, you record de matches and announce de results in yuh sports news? Who de hell want to watch a match when yuh know de result!

The thing to have done was carry de match live, leave out Days Of Our Lives, or put it on earlier in the day and promote the news to come after de match. The good thing is that going into de news you would have de biggest possible audience because people would then have been watching the match!

I real surprise dat wunnah sponsors did not cancel de contracts; yuh real lucky. I woulda put de knife in dat contract de minute yuh decide to record dem matches!

Cheese on bread, I not pun wunnah payroll and I could work dat out? What de hell people doing up there? Dat is a no-brainer. I don’t have de time to deal wid de type of signal wunnah put out in this day and age. Is true some matches being played in de rain forest, but wunnah picture like like if it raining pun de screen!

I got DirecTV and I pay $15 and buy de video service straight from SportsMax, DirecTV to my iPhone. It don’t get better than dat.

I Market Vendor gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?

One Response to Two World Cup wrongs

  1. Ronald Hazell
    Ronald Hazell June 26, 2014 at 11:14 pm

    So true


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