Breasts I know

I know the first thing you will tell me is that I am hasty, that I have no proof or even that I am crazy, but I know what I am talking about. I was passing through town this week and just by chance decided to stop in and look at this exhibition a friend told me about. It had on display a number of nude photos of women and I am 100 per cent sure one of them was my woman.

The heads were missing from these pictures but after three months I know what my woman’s body looks like and I will die and go to my grave certain that the breasts and “privates” I saw were hers. I almost died when I saw them.

I went straight home and ask her about it and all she asking is if I foolish or something, and if I see she taking pictures. Up to now she ain’t say that they aren’t hers, but insisting that I never saw her taking any pictures. Then she wants to know if I see her face! Now how she would know that the pictures ain’t got no faces? I don’t remember telling her that.

So you feel I should stay with a woman who would take off her clothes in front of a stranger and then take pictures for even more strangers to see? I don’t know that I can trust her again.

— Mad Man

Since Yuh Asked, MM, I have to agree with your first paragraph: You would have to be crazy! You are trying to tell me that after three months with a woman your are such an expert that you can tell from a headless photo that a body is hers? Are there scars or other distinguishing marks? I suspect not, if not you would have said so. You just know from the “breasts and privates” that they belong to her?

I believe you should leave this woman — but not because you have caught her doing wrong, but because you are so crazy if you stick around you could be a threat to her. So move on!

But before you leave, consider this. Even if she took the photos, you said she was your girlfriend for three months: Did she not have a life before then? And you said it was an art exhibition, so I suspect what you saw was tasteful photography and no pornography.

Sorry, you don’t get my support on this one. Hit the road, Jack!

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