PM challenges concept of ‘single mothers’

Prime Minister Freundel Stuart today challenged the concept of “single mothers”, saying it was “an excuse” often used by women to let delinquent fathers off the hook.

“I think there is a very dangerous current taking shape in society where an increasing number of what are erroneously called ‘single mothers,’” Stuart told the opening of national consultation on the family here this morning.

“I usually have to challenge them when they tell me that they are single mothers because . . .  there is always a father somewhere who is not pulling his weight,” he said, adding that “it is amazing how often excuses are made for delinquent fathers and these ‘single mothers’ are preparing to assume full responsibility for the raring of their children.

Stuart, whose father died tragically when he was nine years old, said he was raised “by a genuine single mother”.

“So I understand the narrative and I understand the challenges, but I am saying that today people who call themselves single parents really are not. It is really an excuse for not putting the kind of pressure on the father that needs to be put so that the burdens of family life can be shared, and that is another problem we have to deal with,” the Prime Minister explained.

“So the strength of the family, the stability of the family, the safety of the family and of course the other issue that is of great concern are standards in the family,” he told the consultation, put on by the Diocese of Barbados under the theme Restoring Our Barbadian Family.

Though not providing statistics, the island’s leader also pointed out that he recently had a discussion “at the level of Cabinet” regarding the increasing number of young women with children who were being “put out” by their mothers.

“The explanation given, and we have been hearing quite a bit of those stories recently, that their mothers say they can’t put up with anymore noise in their ears, they want some peace, and so on,” Stuart said.

“Now, we used to know a Barbados that was different, when a grandparent didn’t mind the parent leaving, as long as the parent was going to leave the grandchildren. Nowadays it seems, from what we have been picking up, that that current is changing as well. We cannot allow that current to gain any strength,” he said.

However, Stuart quickly acknowledged that given the advanced health and education sectors, in many instances grandparents were “spending more time in the work place than would have been the case in the 1960s and 1950s” and therefore more time away from home.

“So you have a different kind of grandparent today from the ones we used to know, and we are now in a situation where while it used to be true to say that our local communities raised our children, that is no longer the case.

“That is why choice of school in Barbados nowadays is not linked to where you live but linked to where your parents are working, because at a certain time of day parents have to come and get the children because they cannot afford, given how our communities have changed, to let the children go home to the community because our communities are not as highly personalized as they used to be in the Barbados of yesteryear,” he explained.

Those challenges, Stuart said, have contributed to “the undermining of the strength of our families and that too is an issue which we have to confront”, adding that Government was willing and ready to assist the Church in addressing them.

16 Responses to PM challenges concept of ‘single mothers’

  1. Brien King
    Brien King October 13, 2016 at 4:01 am

    How is it that you seek GOD’S help but don’t want to follow GOD’S instructions for our lives ? How is it that people like you got women equal to men in status etc but didn’t expect to face what is occurring in relationships ? You hypocrite, if you make the woman equal to her man, when he instruct her, will she obey him? This same foolishness of putting pressure on men in a no win matter is what got a lot of females dead today. The ordain order GOD have in place is the man is in charge of the family and have the ultimate say in the direction of the family and if the woman don’t like it, she can leave and face whatever fate there is or humble herself and obey her husband. Because man thinks he is better than GOD, is what have him in this position today. None of you fools have respect for GOD’S laws but want the benefits of such? According to the rest of people here, man go back to sleep and wake up better next time. Until the people of Barbados begin to respect and do the instructions of GOD, this country will face all manner of problems because you all stiffneck at what you all are doing and would not hear. Most churches here are only religious, as they too don’t practice GOD’S instructions for our lives, they always stuffing their face with all manner of abominable meats and foods and doing all manner of things that GOD don’t like but expect GOD to state, don’t mind that , I understand, and let them enter heaven? They are fooling themselves and all those who follow them but hey, don’t take my word for it, read and see for yourself. Many believe in this foolishness called the rapture but have no idea that what they called the rapture, GOD calls a slaughter of disobedient people who refused to obey HIS instructions. But yea, stick to you all beliefs and don’t read and understand what GOD states and see what becomes of you.
    You want crime down, good family structure, peaceful and loving people, then obey GOD, otherwise take what you are getting now.

    • Juanita Blanco
      Juanita Blanco October 13, 2016 at 6:25 am
    • Colleen Morris
      Colleen Morris October 13, 2016 at 6:31 am


    • Eddy Murray
      Eddy Murray October 13, 2016 at 7:36 am

      Mr. King, I hear every body talking about the Church in doing this the Church in doing that. Where the Church is. I thought that the people is the Church, and not the building.

    • Craige Campbell October 13, 2016 at 9:33 am

      Brian King, descendant of slaves who received christianity at the end of a whip. U have a imaginary friend, play with him if you like, but please do it in private.

    • Sandra Madea
      Sandra Madea October 13, 2016 at 10:02 am
  2. jrsmith October 13, 2016 at 6:32 am

    @, Brien K, hail, hail, I would say you got it together man , you are so godly you have no time for anything else…I hope you pay your taxes , you don’t have a fake number plate on your car, your car is insured , you are married and is faithful to your wife, you don’t play the lottery , and your home have 25 bibles and not a bottle of brandy in sight…Amen ,amen you are on your way to heaven….
    I bet you ,you don’t know who is our black Jesus…,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    Our Priminister always making comments but always forgets his job and title , if he could find the time away from sleeping the ball is in his court , to put things right….

  3. Bobo October 13, 2016 at 7:48 am

    Ref to B King comments , my dear you are out of touch with reality–let’s go back to the garden of Eden the Apple Tree = of good evil=each human choices.

    Black woman love yourself first, the respect you so desire so shall you earned.

  4. Ejd October 13, 2016 at 9:05 am

    The PM is absolutely correct about these so called single mothers.

  5. Alana B October 13, 2016 at 9:40 am

    To add to the comments made by Brien King, I should state that a woman must and should take care of her children. Ok, some woman refer to themselves as single mothers and that maybe fine where there is an absent father. However, Women approach the courts and receive financial assistance from the father of the child. The court recognizes the need and orders the support to be given to the child. Yet, the court seldom gives joint custody to both parents leaving it to the discretion of the woman who at times leverage their ‘power’ of care and control to the limit access to the child to the financial provider (the father). This arrangement is used as a loose loop of cord around the necks of hard working men who love and support their children the best way they can. However, while the child or children remain in the custody of the mother, at times, would hear their mother speaking ill of their father, telling the child things like ” yuh fadda ain’t giving enough support and have yuh suffering”.

    Isn’t it the responsibility of both parents to care of a child? Isn’t that responsibility recognized by the State, the Bible and the Quran? Does the court in this land seek to aide in a woman’s bid to at times, pauperize men who genuinely give of their best? What about women who name some men as the father of the child and it at times turn out that they were ‘set-up’? What about women who use the money received from the father of the child or children for purposes other than what is stated before the court? Who monitors these indiscretions? Why is it no one is speaking about some women having so many men in their lives that it is hard to identify who the ‘real’ father is and the court says to the man, “you are the father the child knows to you need to support it”? When will it end?

    The continued trend of placing ‘pressure’ on the Barbadian man would not help the society. Barbadian men if compared to men in the wider Caribbean are good and loving fathers, husbands and partners. They should be recognized for their efforts!!!

    Let me however, leave this forum with the song by Lord Tanamo – Shame and Scandal and ask us all to examine ourselves.

  6. Olutoye Walrond October 13, 2016 at 11:04 am

    “I think there is a very dangerous current taking shape in society where an increasing number of what are erroneously called ‘single mothers……” ?????? Do what? Say what? Believe what?

  7. Hal Austin October 13, 2016 at 11:07 am

    Make mothers register the fathers’ names on the birth certificates. If the fathers decline, then get a court order to get a DNA. Mothers who refuse to cooperate cannot claim support years later.

  8. Alana B October 13, 2016 at 11:23 am

    @ Hal Austin. I am in agreement with you Sir. The time has come for DNA testing.

    The time has also come for the monitoring of the so-called spending on ‘expenses for the children’ are concerned. There should be cogent evidence of the spending. Fathers must periodically scrutinize the claims made by mothers on the expenditure of their children to ensure they (the fathers) are not exploited.

    Fathers must also insist on joint custodial arrangements. Have your time and influence in the lives of your children. It is your right to parent!

  9. Dee October 13, 2016 at 12:53 pm

    To Barbados Today…rearing not raring!

  10. Helicopter(8P) October 13, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Anglican Parish and Chapel churches in the glebes and glens should have mothers union members who care enough about the neighborhood kids and open after-school programs for these kids!

  11. jrsmith October 13, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    A lot of these kids is fathered by the same people we are expecting to enforce any form of legislature , why you think there is problems in most parts of our society ….,,


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