Troubled couples urged to seek counseling

Two local pastors are urging couples experiencing problems to seek professional help instead of taking matters into their own hands.
The advice comes on the heels of last weekend’s murder-suicide involving a married couple at Alleyne Land, Bayville, St Michael.
Pastor Selwyn Brathwaite of the Kingdom of Assembly Church told Barbados TODAY, while couples experience issues and disagreements it must not be allowed to fester.
Professional intervention, he said, allows for a third party to bring a different perspective to the table that could assist in finding solutions.
“Counseling is like giving a car a service to maintain it. In marriages, there are some things that need maintenance checks. If this doesn’t happen, it could be very damaging.
“Maintenance checks enable us to look at the little things that may need some attention and fix them as opposed to avoiding them. It can become very expensive to fix and you can say, ‘it is out of my hands, I am going to wreck this thing,’” he explained.
Senator Reverend David Durant of International Restoration Ministries expressed the view that couples handling problems themselves was not always be the best choice.
“Please seek counseling,” he advised, adding, “[It] can help cope with the challenges and be able to develop a better attitude or approach to resolving the problem [and] coming to [an] amicable settlement . . . rather than having [it] end in a very sad and tragic way.”
“My heart was so saddened by what I heard and with the passing of both mother and father, two lovely little children are left there,” Reverend Durant added.

5 Responses to Troubled couples urged to seek counseling

  1. Veroniva Boyce
    Veroniva Boyce June 4, 2016 at 11:43 am

    Married & Cohabit.

  2. Cynthia Blackman
    Cynthia Blackman June 4, 2016 at 11:46 am

    Not only in TRINIDAD ,,

  3. jrsmith June 4, 2016 at 11:55 am

    The real problem we have lost our culture we are in the process of losing our heritage ,we have never had any support from anyone we don’t even know our history , we are not doing for ourselves thats why the white man is always out in front , we must always have role models but of what…

  4. maxjustina June 4, 2016 at 1:21 pm

    What is Counselling? Does it entail the bringing of a person(s) before someone who claims to be a Counsellor? Who is a Counsellor? – a Priest? a Pastor? a Head of Department? a poor ordinary woman who may have wisdom (spiritual discernment) but who in the eyes of his or her fellowman, does not have one red cent on any bank and therefore has been viewed as devoid of what is necessary to assist persons (single, married, cohabiting) to resolve their own challenges.

    Is Counselling the art of “giving advice”? What about instances in which the “counsellor” has given directives to someone whose mental state can be described as “sound”?

    In Barbados, it is known that when a person enters a Counselling service, they are viewed as “weak”. Others accuse them of going to people to tell them their business. To suffer in silence and anger appears to be the norm in Barbados. There is also the issue of persons being advised to go to the Priest or Pastor for counselling. How many Priests or Pastors “like counselling”? How many of them are able to discuss the matter of sex with married couples whose bedrooms are “cold”? I was told a few years ago that prior to the marriage ceremony, couples are asked to attend counselling sessions but that the topics of “sex” and “Financial Matters” are usually pre-empted by the counsellor.

    We need to first adopt a healthy concept of counselling in Barbados. Men in particular find it very difficult to enter into such arrangements for fear that their buddies would view them as “weak”.

    The Counsellors need to cover their acquired education in the art of Counselling with the spirit of Wisdom from Yahoveh the Most High. Counselling needs to be removed from the taboo place in our psyche and be advertised as a healthy arena to help other to grown in wisdom and understanding, not only of themselves as physical beings but as spiritual beings that may be centuries old but are housed within physical bodies for the carrying out of their duties during this cycle of their human existence. Persons with such knowledge need to be allowed to function for the betterment of our relationships – not thrown aside because others who are bosses are still blinded by their physical senses. It is the spiritual realm that rules the physical realm not vice versa.

    Until we come to accept this reality and allow those who were born to be Counsellors to do their God-appointed work, many such instances (murder-suicide) will follow over time.

  5. seagul June 5, 2016 at 10:10 am

    We have not lost any culture! The culture is there for all to reach out and embrace. Who taught you to hate your hair- to class yourself just because of a lighter skin. Ali and Malcolm, that’s the culture we must hold.
    It’s the beginning of the 80’s and the eastern Caribbean is entering into an era of change. This period of time had recently witnessed a Cuban flight disaster over Barbados, then the assassination of a beloved Caribbean academic Dr Walter Rodney, who raised the political awareness of the young lower classes just the same as Bob Marley whose untimely death was also mourned around this time. Deeper soul…


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