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Dumb, dumber, dumbest!

todays vendorWhy is it that de good things always come to an end, but somehow de bad things must continue?

I was so sad to learn dat de Republican debates in de USA had come to an end fuh de year, and we gine have to wait till next year fuh de sport to begin again. It is de best free comedic entertainment dese days!

Some of my recent favourites were Senator Ted Cruz from de Lone Star State. Now I always wary of de fellas from Texas, ’cause dem still think dese is de days of herding de cows, guns pun de hips, beef pun de bar-b and a real men drinking beer!

In de last debate, CNN’s Wolf  Blitzer remind he dat he say de solution to ISIS was dat he would “carpet-bomb” them from de air, not just de few hundred bombs dat Barack Obama  dropping pun dem daily.

Den came de bouncer of a question: Would you carpet-bomb them knowing dat thousands of innocent civilians are being used as human shields by ISIS, and dat in doing so you would be condemning them to certain death?

I still waiting fuh a reasonable (note, not intelligent) answer from the wild wild west senator!

If yuh thought dat was dumb, den dumber was to come! Next up, billionaire businessman Donald Trump, aka Mr Apprentice, star of TV and owner of de Miss Universe pageant, a man who wants to keep out immigrants but married to at least three so far. In fact, all his wives have been immigrants –– like most Americans!

De Donald believe dat ISIS using we Internet to recruit new followers; and so he plan to stop dat by finding a way to stop dem from using we Internet! Okay, Donald, go for it!

I put dat in de dumber category, alongside most of he other ideas like de wall, banning Muslims from coming to the USA, and so on. But if dumb and dumber were bad, better was to come. Not dis time from  de Donald, but from fat boy from New Jersey, de governor heself –– Chris Christie!

When asked how de gine solve de ISIS problem in de Middle East, de man deliver de quote of de night, becausin, his plan involve dialoguing wid one of de real big men of de Middle East, de king of Jordan –– King Hussein!

Trurth be told, I was very impressed; finally a man talking sense, realizing dat yuh have to engage de moderate leaders of de Middle East, and dat yuh can’t just carpet-bomb dem into extinction. I was impressed also dat de governor had talents dat no one else had, becausin it appeared he could talk to dead people; ’cause when last Market Vendor check, King Hussein dead since 1999, and a new king been pun de Jordanian throne fuh de last 16 years –– King Abdullah!

I could see de governor now: locked in a room wid de spirits, invoking de dead and reasoning wid a dead king to play he part. Maybe he could let de jihadists know dat not even one virigin awaiting dem pun de other side, far less 72!

Governor, you tek de first prize; and so today you ain’t just dumb, or dumber. You is dumbest!

And dese is de people who want to lead de most powerful nation in de world. Dese is de people who gine solve de problems in de Middle East. How could a country dat produce brilliant men and women like Barack and Michelle Obama, Bill and Hillary Clinton, de Kennedys, Steve Jobs and many many more, come to this? As de ole people used to say, wunnah bring wunnah pigs to fine market!

I Market Vendor gone fuh now. You have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?

2 Responses to Dumb, dumber, dumbest!

  1. Joseph Harding December 22, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    Donal Trump has sold his stake in the Miss Universe Pageant

  2. Tony Webster December 22, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    Here’s de rub, vendor: If evahbody was to walk like Donald, talk like Donald…evahbody would be a “normal”….duck. Right? The purpose of having “Donalds” waddling ’bout God’s Green Earfh, is to enable folks to distinguish average, sensible people…from ducks!
    Quack Erat Donaldumstrandum.


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