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How low can we go?

D Vendor col


Years ago, Johnny Tudor’s father, de late Joseph Onesemus Tudor, was de premier comedian in Bubbadus and he use to do shows nightly in de hotels, and wid Madame Yvette use to put on some spectacular limbo and fire shows. And, as de limbo dancer lowered de bar, Joe Tudor, all 90 pounds of him, could be heard over de mic asking: “How low can you go?!”

And de bar wid de fire burning would get lower and lower till it was barely six inches off de ground, and yet de limbo dancer would get under it! Truth is, I can’t remember when last I saw a good limbo show. But de question how low can you go resonating all over Bubbadus dese days!

It like a public market in Morocco. Everything is “Let’s make a deal”. Everybody looking fuh a deal; nobody want to pay de true price.


Audi TT 1999

I got a Audi TT 1999 model; they tell me it is a collector’s item and it look like and does drive like brand new. Everything wukking; but since I don’t have no car museum like Bill Mallillieu, and cash tight, I looking to sell. But every fella dat come, even before them open de door, dem asking:

“Skippa, how low can you go?”

I ain’t even tell dem de price, and dem asking how low can you go!

Ah got a li’l board and shingle house to rent fuh de ole lady; de rent is already peppercorn rent; yet dem asking me: “How low can you go?”

Flying fish licking dog in Oistins, 100 fuh $30. Would you believe people still asking: “Dat is de best price? You can’t tek off something? How low can you go?”

A li’l plot a land in a nice neighbourhood, de family selling, priced to go, real low per square foot, yet people ain’t see de land yet, but still calling and asking how low can you go!

Moodys and Standards and Poors downgrading Bubbadus time and time again and I find myself asking how low can you go. I mean, is there a point where yuh does stop going down?

A gal in a fete; all de assets in de right place; Machel music pounding; she doing six thirty and de fellas bawling: “How low can you go?”

Early up in the year all I was hearing was positive talk bout tourism bookings, now at de end of de season we learning dat tourism arrival fuh de first quarter down. How low can we go?

Allegations flying dat at a time when foreign reserves should be at their highest at the end of the tourist season, it flat and going down fast. I real worried and I definitely want to know how low can we go!

We gine build a new sugar factory fuh $500 million, but to grind what? Yuh does just spend half a billion just so widout mekking out a business case fuh dat kind of expenditure? And wid sugar production gine down every year, lower and lower, how low can we go while hundreds of acres of former sugar lands overrun by river tamarind, as owners wait fuh permission to cut up and sell off.

As a society we gone mad or something! How low can we go?

People frighten to open dem mouths and speak, standards falling everywhere, people looking to politicians fuh jobs, Unions got cold feet defending workers’ rights, indiscipline in de schools, lack of values.

And dese days, where you live and who you support is de main HR consideration in determining who gine get send home and who gine find work.

Truly I have to ask: How low can we go!


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