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Free up the sex

I felt compelled to write you after hearing some of my co-workers, both women and men, talking about sex recently, specifically pornography.

It started after they read about a wife who was complaining that her husband watched blue movies and then wanted to act out what he had seen and heard.

Interestingly enough, they said the woman was asking Government to clean up the Internet and lock up prostitutes to help “good women” like her.

The discussion was lively and heated at times with both men and women arguing that porn was good because it could spice things up between couples and bad because some forms showed sexual depravity and the people should be locked up.

There was also the view that it was bad because it was done without feeling as the people were just actors and real people should not do the same.

Some people also said that sex on the whole was bad, with the women saying that was all their men or other men wanted.

The addiction to porn is bad but then again any addiction is bad.

My question is, why is sex often viewed as disgusting? Is it how some people are raised? Why is it that when women get married they want to withhold sex from men as though it is punishment?

That is just wrong!

I have been married for seven years and me and husband have a healthy relationship and yes I have watched porn occasionally and was not ashamed to face my priest. I believe that what goes on between me and my husband is our business.

I simply don’t understand not pleasing my husband sexually. If he wants to do something we haven’t done before I don’t ask him where he got it from or if he had sex with another woman.

I agree to try it and if I don’t like it then we won’t do it again.

We are committed to each other and are by no means kinky.

People should not be afraid to be themselves sexually or other wise but treat each other with respect, after all you made a commitment to each other.

Going to church is no reason for people not to enjoy sex, they should also learn about and be comfortable with their bodies instead of saying it is nasty.

I didn’t know that God intended for something that can be so beautiful to be viewed as nasty for some people.

Sexy Wife

Since Yuh Asked, SW, let me say that I agree with your argument generally, but the questions you asked are so complex they really can’t be answered with any degree of thoroughness in this forum.

What I will say is that the conservative nature of our society, at least that’s how it was traditionally, certainly would have contributed to how many of us treat sex and talk about it. What I have found though is that we often make a big mistake when we believe what people say are their views on sex when in public discussions.

I find that very often people give the responses they believe will make them feel morally superior, or acceptable, but their conduct behind closed doors tells a totally different story.

But it is an issue about which couples should speak frankly because doing otherwise often leads to conflict and fracture. Add to that the fact that in too many instances individuals, as a result of comfort, not morality, will refuse to do things that will satisfy their partners, but will then do the same thing in an affair, or after they move on to a new partner. We all ought to be careful about becoming too settled in our relationships.

Pornography is a whole different issue that I will not attempt to touch here and now.

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