I never thought I would have to write you for advice but here I am today.
I’ve recently been laid off from my job and while my wife and I have been saving over the years and won’t be starving any time soon, I’m still looking for work so we won’t have to dip into our savings too heavily.
But I digress because that’s not the reason I’m writing.
My neighbour, a single mother of two sweet teenaged girls, has also been laid off and she hasn’t had any success in her job searches either.
She has asked me to come over from time to time to help her with one or two things around the house and usually I’m accommodating until recently.
When I’m cutting the lawn at our St. James home I just go over and cut her’s as well. We live in a middle class district.
About two weeks ago, she called me over to change a bulb which, admittedly, was too high to be reached without a ladder. I had done this before and my wife was there so I thought nothing of it this time around.
Lo and behold when I got there she was wearing a really tight shirt and some of the shortest shorts you could think of. She has a really nice body but she is usually a bit more conservative in her dress.
But that’s not the clincher. She offered to have sex with me and suggested I could pay her $300 as she would do “things to blow my mind”.
Needless to say I was shocked and ignored her until she repeated it.
Then I politely told her no, picked up my ladder and left.
Later that day I saw two men going into her home, not at the same time but about four hours apart.
I am stunned. I know she needs money but does she have to resort to having sex to do so?
I tried to get my wife to see my point of view but she said sometimes a woman has to do what she has to to survive.
It made me wonder how many other middle class women were having sex for money in Barbados and not thinking they were prostitutes, cause that is what it is.
Should I ignore my wife and speak to our neighbour?
Since Yuh Asked, K, let me ask you a question first: Why you keep mentioning middle class? Are you suggesting it is okay for the poor but the middle class have some higher moral calling?
I agree with your wife in that, morally right or wrong, it is the neighbour’s decision and I don’t get the impression you are concerned because you are a friend, but you want to tell her something because you see yourself as morally superior.
The time to act was when she first propositioned you. It would have been appropriate to tell her you would not do it, but that you understand her struggle and the two of you could have a chat on the back step or patio (out in the open) about options she could employ.
I certainly do not support her approach, but taking a position of superior morality rather than being “my brother’s keeper” offers little solace to her and her daughters.
You may think you have nothing, but remember the widow who gave her mite! There is always something we can do.