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Counselling may be worse

I have just finished reading your article in the Barbados Today dated July 3, 2013, Can’t force counselling.

This is a very interesting article in regards to seeing that the Government is going to become the judge and jury in regards to the rights of a married couple who wants out of their marriage. Plus, even willing to pay for the counselling.

Senator Harold Crichlow has a very good point, or argument, regarding this matter.

I am quite sure that there are many other things that needs addressing more than trying to keep people married when they no longer want to be with each other. The Government should never have that kind of power over a person’s life.

This will not resolve domestic violence. This will not make people who no longer has any love or respect towards each other remain just because the Government says so.

Work more towards protecting the rights of women from being abused, not only at home, but also on the job. Pass a laws to bring about equality for women. This situation of trying to keep people together isn’t a very wise thing to impose on anyone.

You have no idea what goes on behind close doors, and no counselling can change things when they have become unchangeable. This will be squandering taxpayers money for sure.

Counselling a person, or persons, might seem to be the right thing to do, but it’s not. You might even create a worse situation.

I can tell you from experience that when a couple goes to counselling and they aren’t both on the same page in regards to wanting the marriage to work, it’s a pure waste of time, energy and money. No one can change a person’s mind when they have been mistreated, or disrespected by talking about what they should, or could, be doing to make the marriage better. It’s better to be divorced and go your separate ways. You might even become friends over a period of time.

I know two couples who got counselling and ended up getting a divorce. One got back together and remarried two years later. The other couple both got married to other people, and ended up getting remarried four years later. And both couples are still together.

Allow people to make their own choices when it comes to matters of the heart. Stay out of people’s choices to remain, or not remain together.

Some of us are meant to be together for a year, or even more. While some are meant to be for a lifetime. I don’t see where anyone has the right to refuse another person the right to be free because of the choice that they made. How many go to counselling before getting married? Some people are in marriages for show. Some remain married because of the children. People know when they have had enough.

— Charles S. Cadogan Sr

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