Do the best you can
There is no manual to fatherhood. Therefore fathers must do the best they can to learn what they can for the sake of their children.
The advice to dads at St. Boniface Nursery this morning came from father and Methodist minister Reverend Winston Jones, as he briefly addressed them at the school’s Father’s Day celebrations.
The school this morning hosted close to 50 dads and a few stand-in dads to allow the children to show their appreciation and spend time with their fathers and father-figures.
Jones said: “One of the main challenge with fathering is that we don’t have a manual. There is nothing that can say to us, look, when ya child does this, do it like this or do this.
“When you buy a car, the car brings a manual and you know when it makes certain sounds this is what it means. So it means we’ve got to learn it. Any father that has got more than one child will know what works for one child will not work for the next, and that is even more accentuated when one is a male and one is a female because the way a girl child will relate to you is not the way a boy child will relate to you,” he said.
The father of two told fathers that finding that bond between themselves and their children was a most crucial element of parenthood. He said it was understandable for parents, dads to make a guess, or to use a stern word or a soft words to see if they can get the desired response.
“We hope that by giving them something that will make the difference; that by withholding something that can make the difference, but sometimes we’re just guessing and one thing I’ve found beneficial with my own children and I teach it and have seen it occur with other children, is being prepared to say daddy was wrong, I’m sorry.
“It doesn’t mean that you cease to be daddy anymore. It doesn’t mean that you cease to be the influence in their lives anymore. One of the things that I’ve seen that do, is that it has taught my children to forgive,” he said.
Principal Valerian Millar told the dads that the special day was their way of recognising the role fathers played in the lives of their children.
She said often fathers complained that all the special attention was visited on mothers and they felt left out, but St. Boniface Nursery ensured both were treated with equal respect and attention. (LB)