Tackling the taboo
I have been reading all the stories from the United States and Europe about legalising same sex marriages, and I want to know when we will deal with the issue in Barbados.
I am a man — 100 per cent man, and I have been involved in a healthy, happy relationship with another man for more than ten years. We are two men in love. Neither of us is pretending to be a woman, or thinking about surgery to become a woman or anything like that.
We are not out there running around, sleeping with everyone we can find, or living double lives to give anyone the impression we are straight. It is also true though that we have not been shouting our “gayness” because this is a very cruel society.
Two years ago we moved in together and we would really like to make our relationship “legal”; but I am sure you know what will happen if we bring up this topic in public.
How long do you think it will be before the government raises the issue? My partner and I have been talking about this a lot and we believe this is a human rights matter and we should have the right as two consenting adults to carry on a relationship and to get married if we choose to.
Do you think any of the MPs in the House of Assembly would entertain a discreet discussion with us on this — and treat it with respect?
I am just trying to get the debate going in Barbados.
Since Yuh Asked, LG, I would have to say that you stand a better chance of seeing the Government balance its budget than dealing with the issue of same sex marriage here in Barbados. It just ain’t going happen!
Perhaps if the gay community was large enough to be a voting bloc that could influence the outcome of an election, you might get a hearing, but I don’t see the politician who will take on the church, the conservative lobby, and the almost natural inclination of Barbadians to be hurtful at every opportunity, with no guarantee of enough votes to get him or her re-elected.
My view is that the Barbadian society is not even close to being ready for that debate, and no politician at the moment is going to sacrifice himself.
If your relationship is happy and working as it is, leave well alone. In any event the act of “marriage” does not guarantee relationship success. Look at the failure rate of “regular” marriages?
By the way, remember that sexual intercourse between two men in Barbados is still illegal!