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The disabled rainbow

pictureforequalbutThe ongoing saga, discussion and controversy surrounding the gay community will never end. There will never be full acceptance or integration of that lifestyle into mainstream society because the general thought, minus those who bring the religious perspective, is that there is something wrong with two men or two women lying down together and engaging in sexual activity.

While there is a lot to be said on this topic, I want to focus on those in the disabled community who have not only chosen to live the gay lifestyle, but are struggling to live with the discrimination they meet up on almost on a daily basis.

While I will not get into the issue of gay marriage, which is another story in itself, I want to focus on the number of people in the disabled community who live in fear and who are even committing suicide because they have “come out of the closet”.

I believe that we all have the right to certain things. We were born with them and we shouldn’t be denied them. However, that’s just wishful thinking since the issue of rights, who gives them, who is entitled to them and who has the right to take them away is a major issue with those in “authority” acting and taking on the role as both judge and jury.

While everyone has the right to live their lives as they see fit, they shouldn’t do so in a manner that encroaches on the lives of others. Now, I know that some people don’t know where the line should be drawn and do everything to make the lives of others a miserable existence. They do it without thought. Actually I’m wrong. They do it with lots of thought, spite and indifference just to cause pain and hurt on an individual.

There are members of the disabled community, like any other community, who have decided that despite being straight for many years, they want to pursue a relationship with the same sex. That again is their choice. Unfortunately being disabled only adds to the plight of some of these individuals as they now have two battles to fight.

The amount of persons who are coming out and stating their sexual preference is greatly increasing and whether we like it or not this is a right which they have. We don’t have to like it and we don’t even have to agree, but just treating people fairly, with respect and with dignity is all that’s required when faced with this scenario.

This, in no way means that we have bought into it, that we have accepted the lifestyle or that we believe in gay marriage or anything of the sort. Far from. All it means is that we are treating people in the way we would want them to treat us.

The ironic thing about this, is that in most cases we knew the persons all along while they were straight but because they have changed their sexual orientation we think they have turned into somebody else.

Of course I’m not na√ve enough to think that the change of lifestyle, and we would agree it’s a drastic one, wouldn’t have a somewhat profound effect on us; but are we to throw away the years of friendship, family and relationship which have been built for that reason alone?

Even if you state that you don’t approve of the lifestyle or that you don’t want your children exposed to the practice is fair, but treating them unfairly isn’t.

The disabled are asked many questions as it pertains to their sexual preference, including why anyone who is already “damaged goods” would want to further ostracise themselves. People ask all kinds of questions about how they get their bodies to function in their condition with the same sex and then go on to make some of the most humiliating comments as it relates to their body parts.

In the US the number of disabled persons who have risked “coming out” and who have attempted suicide after doing so is staggering. Too many are thrown into depression and isolation and it’s just too much to bear. I don’t know about you, but if we say that we only disagree or disapprove of someone’s sexual orientation yet our behaviour is causing them to seriously contemplate suicide then something is drastically wrong somewhere.

We keep repeating our “oaths” and recorded lines about being tolerant, loving the sinner but hating the sin etc, but failing to demonstrate by our actions that we have not thrown out the individual because of their choice.

I know some of you may be wondering if I support the lifestyle, movement etc and all that it brings. I don’t. I, however, happen to know of persons who have chosen this lifestyle and there is actually no need for us to speak on the issue. I know what they have chosen and they know the path I walk which is in total and direct opposition to theirs!

All I’m saying is that we need to be careful how we tread in this area. The more we push, the more damage we do and there is nothing which should drive someone to live in fear or to think that the only freedom they can receive is by taking their own life. Please don’t let it get that far. It’s just not worth it.

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