It goes both ways

Very often men are viewed as the worst in cases of neglecting their children, abusing their women, and running from responsibility on the whole. Though true in some cases, must it mean that all are the same, or when a woman cries out against her man that he is guilty until he can prove his innocence?

Too often I hear and see men being given the hammer as far as being scum in handling their responsibilities. I know some women are turning up their faces and sucking their teeth but I could care less. The truth is what it is. They are some females who are making it really hard for the men.

I am not going to get into the men are dogs argument with any woman. Who feels men are dogs need to know that dogs are known to be attracted to their own. They more often than never hate cats and unless you are some sick sexual pervert, you should not be sleeping with any either. I hope that is clear enough for you to understand where I am coming from.

Some women go and get themselves tied up and deeply associated with men who may not be the type they should write home and tell mommy about. Some like the rude boys and bad boys, and some just love the whole negative aspects that follow such characters. I hear them often saying how their man from certain blocks and then there are those who seem to feel proud letting the whole island know that their man in jail for doing whatever. Sad to say but there usually isn’t much hope for those ladies, sometimes.

Some of these men will impregnate the whole posse of young impressionable and inexperienced girls and watch them have cat fights over them. Nothing more can boost the already big ego of a man knowing that the girls are fighting over him. Next question is where he is working and how is he getting money to support these babies. Shouldn’t that thought cross the mind of any woman who is running the risk of getting pregnant?

Putting that aside, I am very sure there are women who see the man as the ABM. Once they have a child for a man they figure they should not do anything and all is at the man. They want diapers, milk, medicine, clothes, snacks, toys and everything paid for by the man. Is it not a shared duty of the parents? I am not against any man who chooses to pay it all once he can afford it, but they are men who have other children to support plus they have other personal bills to take care of.

Does anyone have any compassion for men who find themselves in such positions? Why is it that no one asks what the mother is doing to assist? Half of the time they spend getting their weaves glued and the other half is spent getting their nails painted. It seems as though they prefer to run to the court and have to wait on child support in that fashion. If the money they get from the man is for the child why then do these unemployed ladies find time to spend money on their weaves and nails?

What about those who tell one man he is the father knowing that the child isn’t. That is happening a lot these days. I guess it is more money for the mom and not more for the child. Should a woman go unpunished if she exacts money from a man over a period of time knowing he was not the father?

I guess it is okay for a man to be hauled off to court to pay for that child if he refuses, which is normally the case. If he cannot pay for a DNA test then his butt is roast for the next 18 plus years. Then on top of that he wants to see the child and is refused access and no law seems to be there to sort that out. What happens next is he needs to find a lawyer to sort things out because if he dares go to see that child and the police are called then he is in a hot mess.

Some mothers know how to use the law to their advantage and bend it too. I have heard mothers say they take the money and the man isn’t seeing or getting the child. What message are they sending that child, and who are they really hurting in the long run. They are instances where mothers paint the father as they please for the child to hear. They lie to the child or children and when the truth is finally known that child resents that mother for robbing them of a relationship with the dad.

It just isn’t right. I don’t know of any but I feel what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Mothers who act inappropriately towards fathers should be treated accordingly. Make those who disallow fathers a relationship with their child pay. Those who take support from men knowing they are not the dad should have to pay it back somehow. When you check it out, it is normally a case of a personal vendetta and nothing to do with the child. We just don’t seem to know how to separate the two.

To the men out there who are not being the right sorts of dad, I cry shame on you and ask that you clean up your act. Ignore the nagging mother and look after your child’s welfare.

To the dads out there who are doing it as it should be, I say keep your head up and be the example for society to see that not all are truants. Being a dad is more than buying diapers and milk and toys — it has a lot to do with building and shaping that child’s life so he or she can be a better person in the future.

Things are changing and I am seeing more and more proud and caring dads out there. Despite the way some are painted by society I know for sure that men these days are more willing to accept the role and do it to the best of their ability, if allowed.

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