A two-way street

I have been asked many times about my opinion on relationships and I try hard never to offend even though I try to give my honest opinion. There are straight up man and woman, boyfriend and girlfriend relationships, and there is the husband and wife relationship. No matter how good they are at first there is and will always be disagreements and little tiffs that may threaten the union.

The question is will you be able to deal with it the right way and as timely as possible. For me timing is always of the essence. When you allow things to ferment they tend to explode in your face when you try to handle it, so dealing with it early is a must.

Now I must say I am no expert, but I am not an idiot either. I call it as I see it and only as I see it.

I think too often men are given a tough break where issues in relationships are concerned. Men are viewed as the snake and the dogs whenever things foul up. We are always the one to blame when it doesn’t work out and the woman is all torn and broken inside out. Does anyone stop to ask what the other side of the story is that resulted in the break? No! Woman cries so the man is once again at his doggy duties. Every woman a man says hello to or smiles with or chats on the phone with is now a potential bedmate, even if she is his cousin. Men just can’t shake it when it comes to the blame game. Just because your friend was involved with a snake or you may have been partnered in the past with a snake does not mean that every other man is of equal character.

Some women tend to take things for granted. They get caught up with their mirror image and forget that much more is needed to keep the attention of their man. Some use sex as the pawn or trump card in harnessing their guy. They then feel that it can be used to keep him home from being out with the boys or they use it when he steps out of favour with them. No bedroom action for him for the rest of the week or month. Any poking he gets is to his ribs or let’s say to himself by himself as long as he takes matters in his own hands. That is a serious mistake made there. What happens when that sex starved man is pounced upon by some other female who is looking to clear his pipes and be a regular oasis when he is left in the desert? I say never fuel a fire that is not burning in your furnace. Always keep the fires burning in your fireplace even when you feel that the heat was a little overbearing at times. Stoke it to your desire and that way the possibility of someone else getting warmed at your expense is nil.

Most men are tamed by the loins of his woman and I believe if he is well dealt with the same way the woman wants to be dealt with and catered, then things will get better. Well in most cases. I must say some guys are not satisfied with the readily available woman in their bed so they stray. Taking time to show how one appreciates the other is a must. Quality time getting to know the changes in mind and body of your partner helps a lot.

There is need for leaving work at the office and taking some time out for your partner. Men too need to give up that odd game or two and go hang with their women and not the guys at the bar. Women tend to use the headache and I’m tired excuse and the odd tummy ache to get that break from the bedroom but it’s not always sex that we men crave. There’s need for the woman to be a bit more excited and creative in the relationship. I am not talking of acrobatic moves in the bedroom but about things both of you can do as a couple outside of the bedroom. Barbados does not offer much in options to go entertainment wise so why not create them. Money does not always have to be spent to have a good time, and women who measure their happiness on the depth of the man’s pocket are a problem awaiting a push start.

Some ladies need to ask themselves if they don’t need to try and know their partner and stop living in a capsule. Men have feelings too and when you constantly accuse them of cheating and being liars and then trying to play detective by searching emails and Facebook and phones and calling strange numbers you see, that only shows insecurity on your behalf. When that happens and intensifies it is time to move on. Someone will get hurt. One should also be man or woman enough to admit a mistake. I find when a woman messes up after accusing a man and is wrong she will find reason for her actions, and it is going to be something the man said or did, never their mistake. Men are the bigger cheats they say but I just think men are the more stupid cheats. They are the ones who get caught most.

Again I say make it a two way effort and listen to your partner and ask questions. You will be surprised to know what they have bottled up inside causing a disconnection between you too. Get to understand your relationship. Comparing your life to the Jones’ is not the way to go as no two relationships are alike. If it’s worth it try to shape it and maybe you will save it.

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