Violent horizons

A three-part essay of a young girl’s experiences at Secondary School

Part 3 – Every Battle must come to an End

It was the shadows I saw moving as I walked towards the bathroom, but as I turned at a side glance … it dispersed into clear light. It was probably just a vision; my eyes were deceiving me.

I pushed the bathroom door and walked in and almost immediately, I sensed a second presence breathing into my spine and for a split second I froze. I believe self preservation kicked in because I snapped from my frozen fear and grabbed the nearest object, a broom stick, believing that it would help me fend off what or whoever was coming to harm me. They were like giants, bigger and stronger than I was, it was two of them and no one was there to help me. I was terrified and then I got angry because I couldn’t understand why I was being targeted.

My fear propelled me to find a path through my attackers, one of whom was armed with a razor. I used the broom like a baton and every swipe I took I got closer to the door and freedom. I had to get out and I did not care if anyone was struck; it was me or them and I knew this time it would not be me.

The excitement and adrenalin rush suddenly crashed and realisation came flooding in with my tears as to my reaction and actions, the result of another attack. I reflected on what could have happened to me and what I could have done with the broom as a weapon. It was such an emotional day for me because the attack was not all that day.

It seemed like no one understood or wanted to understand my reasons for self defence and so I was placed on temporary suspension. I never understood why I was punished, but I used it to boost myself by engaging in activities and catching up on my school work. I learned how to ignore and avoid possible negative situations and not to allow persons to intimidate me because they are more popular or bigger than I am. I also began to experience the non-violent life out of school, when my mother moved to a quieter neighbourhood; I could think better and step outside without worrying of being hurt or seeing a loss of life.

I guess I needed to find peace inside of me and also in the environments around me. I am lucky that I have a mother who supports and tries to assist as much as she can, and where she cannot she is not afraid to ask for help. My mind is much clearer now and I can see for myself where I came from and where I am going. The world can be an ugly place, but it can be a beautiful place also. We all have a choice to shape our world.

I guess the worst thing about crossing the line is when you already know you have, but meeting new friends and talking to someone about your problems may carry you a long way. Things got better for me, and as for the older children who bullied me and all those other helpless children, they reaped the negatives of their own actions and are struggling to recapture the time they wasted at school ill treating others.

I hope in sharing my story, other girls will tell someone if they are being bullied and get help and support. Do not keep it a secret. I hope that if any who reads this story has been bullying others that they would stop now, because it can damage children emotionally. I know from experience, it hurts really badly.

Since I returned to school, I’ve made new friends and am enjoying positive experiences. The memories are still fresh in my life, but when I close and open my eyes, it’s a new day and an opportunity to be happy.

Stop the hate and stand up for what is right. STOP BULLYING!

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