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True colours

I know people will probably ask why a woman so young has so many children.

I am a 35-year-old woman, mother of six children, four girls, two boys, from three different fathers, none of whom I am with.

The children’s ages are 13, 12, 10, eight, six and three.

I had my first child when I was 22.

I was still living with my mother at the time and I didn’t find out until after I had my second child, that the father of my two children was married with three children. I found this out only because I said to him I already had one child and living with mum and seeing I now have a second one we should really find somewhere of our own. Who tell me to tell him that?!

I started seeing less and less of him and it was after doing a little investigating that I found out he was married.

That really tore me apart!

This was a man who wanted me inside the house all the time and I never thought anything of it. I foolishly believed he wanted me all to himself not knowing all along he didn’t want to run the risk of being seen with another woman because his wife is well known.

I was so hurt I vowed never to venture into another relationship, I would stay on my own and with the help of God raise my children (a boy and a girl) on my own.

That changed a year later when I met my third and fourth daughters’ father. He was sweet at first, always there for my first two and then we had two of our own. His problem was he could never stay away from the bottle.

That man would stay out all weekend buying drinks for him and his friends and come home only when he was broke to rant and rave, puke all over the floor for me to clean up. I made a decision after many mornings of cleaning rancid vomit off the floor so my kids won’t see that I wasn’t about to put up with it and put my children through that either.

I got rid of him and found myself involved with a sweet talking non-national.

He too was good at first. Did everything possible for the four kids, helped repair the old house given to me by my aunt. Adding two rooms onto our two-room house and other things that made us comfortable.

Eventually I got pregnant and we had two children a boy and a girl. Things were good for years and then, to make a long story short we broke up after he cheated with someone who was close to me.

That was it for me!

I know people will talk but I pulled myself together, found a well paying job, rebuilt my house and bought a car and I’m putting my kids through school on my own. They are doing very well.

I don’t need another man or woman in my life to make me happy.

Happy With My Kids

Since Yuh Asked, HWMK, I’ll say “Hurray!” to you. You have made mistakes in terms of who you ended up in relations with, but the truth is, we can never know who we are with until they show their true colours.

The important thing is that you have moved on and up. You are happy, your children are comfortable and you are getting on with your life. I wish you all the best.

But here’s my one piece of advice. Even after three lousy men, don’t rule out future relationships all together. You may make up your mind that under no circumstances will you have another child, but if the right companion comes along give love a chance. You don’t have to move him into your house and you certainly don’t have to move into his, but don’t deprive yourself of meaningful adult companionship because you were unfortunate in the past to have met men who were not really men.

Best of luck to you!

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