Since yuh asked…
Attracted to her
I read the letter in Friday 13th edition and felt compelled to write this one.
It’s not because I am in the same position but I couldn’t help but wonder if I wasn’t going through something similar.
Let me explain.
I’ve never been attracted to women but recently, having ended a bad marriage where my heart ruled my head and I plunged headlong into a marriage that was disastrous from the altar where he called me by another name to during the reception where I found him kissing a guest and later claimed he was drunk, something weird is going on.
I was ready to forget about relationships. Then this woman, attractive, well groomed and friendly, joined the staff.
The single men have been flirting with her unabashedly and are buying her lunch trying to take her to dinner, etc and now its Crop-Over, limes and fetes. As far as I’m aware she hasn’t budged.
I’ve noticed that she has been going out of her way to speak to me asking me how my day is going, those kind of things. I never paid it much attention until last week when I got flowers from a “secret admirer” three days in a row.
The week before we were talking about receiving flowers and how men don’t seem to do these “niceties” for their women. Her response was if she had a woman like me she would treat me real good and make sure I am always happy.
I didn’t think anything of her comments until the flowers came. Now, I haven’t asked anyone about her sexual preferences because it’s not my business, but I’m getting really curious and am wondering if she doesn’t like women, and me in particular.
When she passes by my desk she lingers, she asked if I like the flowers when she saw them and invited me to dinner, which I declined. That was Wednesday.
On Friday though, she suggested we go to a movie, as single women and work mates and I found myself saying sure.
I’m actually looking forward to it and I don’t know why but what has me is that I’ve thought about kissing her and when she called to make sure we were still on, I felt butterflies usually associated with a first date.
Considering that I’m writing this ahead of the outing, I don’t know what you’ll advice me to do. I’ve never been attracted to another woman . . .until now.
Since Yuh Ask, SB, there is one thing you have to understand up to this point: I see nothing in your letter to suggest your new workmate has made a pass at you, and therefore what you are feeling might be very one-sided.
I don’t think it is strange for a woman to send another woman flowers after they have been talking about how men seem not to appreciate such things. Women tend to be “sweet” on such things [However, I would be concerned if a man sent his buddy flowers, while a nice bottle of brandy would not raise any suspicions with me – get the point?].
So go and enjoy your movie. If however, you discover while at the movie she is making moves on you, I suspect that given your own feelings, it is going to go in only one direction. Only you will be able to determine how far it goes because you will be the one in the hot seat – literally. As I said in the letter to which you referred, I am fundamentally opposed to same sex relationships, but to each his own – I will condemn no man or woman.